do it yourself FREEDOM

Impacts: Mind, Health, Home, Work, Community

“Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.” – Buddha

Appreciate what you have and what other people offer. Staying focused on the positive keeps your mind focused on moving forward and helps you to avoid dwelling on things that you either can’t influence or affect.

Appreciating more also helps you slow down and live in the present. This will give your mind a break from the day to day stress it otherwise would be mulling over. So in effect appreciating instantly gives you time to let positive thoughts linger longer making it easier for your to live strategically and stay focused.

Take Action

• Look at the space around you. Spend at least two minutes taking in the things you see. Focus on breathing deep and try not to let your mind wander. Try to notice small details without judgment or purpose. Simply take in the space around you.
• On the next cloudless night go outside after dark and find a safe place to sit. Ideally bring a friend and go someplace dark enough to see the stars. Look up. Try to spend as much time as you can. Even a few minutes of relaxing with a friend under the stars can help you take big steps toward feeling more free.

Impacts: Mind, Health, Home

“I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” – Vincent Van Gogh

The feeling of accomplishment is probably one of the most important pieces of increasing confidence and happiness. There is almost nothing like it. Taking a step back and admiring your own work might on the outside seem a little selfish but it can be one of the more rewarding feelings we can have.

For some people making something might be as abstract as a poem, or watching their child graduate from college. For others it could be literally building a piece of furniture, or growing a lush garden. It almost doesn’t matter if you’ve done it for yourself and it’s something you love doing.

When I was in high school I discovered pottery. In fact I became such a good potter I decided to try to make a living making pots in my twenties. The one thing I learned about myself is that the act of making things itself was the most important part. The physical finished object was only interesting to me for as long as it took for me to decide if it was good or not.

When I started making pots to sell a little bit of that good feeling died because I was making things I hoped other people would buy and I started to focus on only on it’s value to other people. Now in my forties, one of my personal goals is to have time enough again to make pots, but this time I want to do it completely for myself. I don’t want to have to rob myself of the feeling of accomplishment to support myself. I also personally think it’s worth the time spent wedging the clay, at the wheel, and tending the kiln, because it’s what I like to do. It makes me happy.

Making something for yourself is about giving yourself the permission to spend time doing something you like and that gives you the greatest feeling of accomplishment. Don’t put extra requirements on yourself like it has to be a work of art, or that other people have to like it. Just make it for yourself. After all it’s your feeling of accomplishment, not theirs.

Take Action

• Anyone can make stuff. Make something for yourselfwithout the intention of showing it to anyone else.
• Try making gifts instead of buying them.

Impacts: Mind, Health, Home, Work, Money, Time

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” – Henry David Thoreau

Habits usually just happen. Usually we fall into habits simply because we’re wired naturally to automate. If you take a step back and look at yourself simply as a living organism you might notice that your body pretty much runs itself without much conscious intervention from you. Your heart beats, your eyes blink, you breathe, etc. It even has automated ways to telling you to eat and drink.

If you’re proactive and make an effort to create positive habits, (healthy habits, time saving habits, work habits, etc), you can actually use your natural tendency to automate in positive directions. For example once you’ve been getting up early for a while you tend to automatically get up early. Bad habits form just as easily.

Breaking habits is very hard to do simply because you’re working against your natural tendency. Generations of biology are your obstacle. Try replacing one habit for another instead of trying  to break a habit. Smokers are onto this simple concept, and in fact often point to this natural tendency to explain sudden weight gain or other negative side effects after quitting smoking. To stay ahead of the habit curve consciously work to replace bad habits with beneficial habits.

Rituals are one way to create new habits. We tend to think of rituals in a religious context but if your break the idea down you’ll see that a ritual is simply an intentional act or series of actions.

To use ritual to build good habits make a conscious effort to give yourself a series of steps for simple tasks designed around the new habit you want to form. Ideally write the steps down to help you in the beginning. Eventually the list will be obsolete because you’ll quickly memorize the steps and even begin to refine and perfect you actions. In the end the simple ritual you designed will be as natural as a mindless habit.

Habits and rituals are key tools for increasing personal freedom because they help you remove bad stuff from your life and replace it with good stuff. Habits and rituals are not as powerful a tool as belief but nearly.

Take Action

• Learn about the Japanese tea ceremony. It’s a great example of ritualized tea drinking.
• Watch for habits you’ve already created. Begin by asking yourself if that habit is moving you forward of back. In other words notice what you’re doing.

Impacts: Mind, Health, Home, Work, Money, Community, Time

“The money you have gives you freedom; the money you pursue enslaves you.” – Jean Jacques Rousseau

“The Lord commonly gives riches to foolish people, to whom he gives nothing else.” – Martin Luther

“Every man is rich or poor according to the proportion between his desires and his enjoyments.” – Samuel Johnson

This one is really hard to achieve because we learn to consume at a very early age. Need and want are sometimes inseparable in our minds when it comes to how things make us feel about ourselves. Sometimes the desire for something is so overwhelming we become obsessed by it and we often don’t stop to discover why, we just work blindly to achieve it.

When I was a kid my family went for a day hike one weekend. When we got back my brothers and I noticed a little blue sports car parked next to our van that had not been there before. I asked my older brother what it was and he said it was a Porsche. From that day on I wanted one so bad it hurt. I know that sounds stupid but I had got bitten early by the sports car bug.

As I grew up an obsession grew and on a regular basis I’d browse the car classifieds in the newspaper and in time online, constantly imagining the car I’d buy someday. A few times I scraped together enough money to buy a used Porsche but talked myself into waiting for a better car. Over the years I spent a lot of time thinking and dreaming about the day I’d drive it home.

Finally when I was 38 I bought one. It was used but seemed to be in very good condition. But the day I drove it home it broke down. The dealer paid for the tow and repair so there was little financial damage but the experience sent a powerful wake up call into my head. Sitting on the side of the highway in a dead Porsche waiting for a tow truck helped a bit too. After a few months I sold it.

Looking back I realize that I learned an important lesson and the money I lost almost seemed worth it. Inside me there must have been some unmet need I was certain this car would fulfill. One thing is for sure, my crazy obsession had taken on a life of its own and most definitely distracted me from making progress in other areas. On the bright side at least I learned this important lesson before turning 40. This has given me few more useful years to refocus on the things that really matter. It’s also opened me up to looking at all my consumer desires with a different set of eyes.

I suspect that understanding deeply buried desires is probably the hardest thing for any of us to do. Wanting less or at least understanding why we want so much can unburden us in many ways. In my case I wasted a lot of time, energy, and money on a car that in the end proved to be more dream than car. Had I gotten a grip, and gotten over it sooner, I could have made a lot of progress on other more productive things. Although its arguable that until we learn this lesson the hard way we have to continue living the mistakes. That may be true of a lot of things.

In any event, at least for me, wanting less has become one of the most freeing decisions I’ve made. It continues to be a daily challenge but it pays me back dividends in time with my family and time for the things I like doing.

Exercise

• Make a short list of the things you want most. For this exercise limit this list to tangible things.
• Sort the list from most important to least important.
• Next to each item put an approximate number of years you’ve wanted it as a point of reference.
• Start with the least important things and write down why you want it.
• Move your way up the list.
• The goal is simply to open your eyes. Don’t try to talk yourself out of wanting these things, simply try to understand why you really want them.
• Once you begin to uncover your real unmet needs try fulfilling them in ways that don’t include obtaining things.

Impacts: Health, Mind, Community, Money, Time

“An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.” – Charles Darwin

Most people use some sort of mind altering drug from alcohol to caffeine to cocaine. Some are legal and some are not but they all help get us through the day. They also treat the symptoms and not the causes of our discomfort.

For example coffee in the morning helps us get going. A beer after work helps us wind down. Both are simple chemical methods for changing the way we feel and they make it easier for us to avoid the real issues. Coffee helps us make up for the late night, unbalanced diet, or bad sleep. Alcohol helps us take the edge off stress and helps us forget our troubles temporarily. Both are legal. Both can create long term health problems. Both are addicting.

When we choose to avoid intoxicants two things happen immediately. The first is that we’re faced with dealing with the stuff they helped us avoid. The second is that we’re faced with the physical and mental reality of an addiction. But once these initial hurdles have been overcome and replaced with something better you’ll find that you’re saving money, time, and feel much better.

The bigger the problem the bigger the payback in personal freedom. By the same token every step in a positive direction is a good thing. Don’t get discouraged if cold turkey isn’t your thing either, simply try cutting back. Most addictions are part physical and part in our heads. The stuff in our heads is often harder to overcome so try replacing it with a positive replacement.

Take Action

• Every time you take a sip, drag, snort, puff, poke, chew, whatever, ask yourself one simple question… “do I need this?”
• Get professional help if you’ve got a real problem.
• Try adding a quick walk first thing in the morning instead of coffee and TV.

Impacts: Health, Community

“The nation that destroys its soil destroys itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Gardening has many indirect positive side effects on people that often go unnoticed. It is an activity that provides benefits far beyond the food you grow. Gardening gives you back time to think, it teaches patience, it makes you feel more connected to your surroundings. If you garden with other people in a community garden, it can become an activity that builds community.

People that garden experience less stress and better health. The fresh food a vegetable garden provides certainly contributes to this but it is more likely the mere act of spending time outside, moving, working, thinking, relaxing, that is the real benefit.

Take Action

• Plant one plant, even if it is in a pot.
• Pick plants that are easy to grow.
• Pick plants that produce something you can eat or use.

As I began to write down these ideas I noticed that they fit into a few reoccurring themes: mind, health, home, work, money, community, and time. Each idea in the book impacts one or more of these areas to greater and lesser degrees.

For example, ‘Eat Better’ strongly effects health and money. When you eat better your health tends to improve. Good health removes many physical and mental burdens. When you eat better you tend to save money because you eat at home more and buy fewer empty fast food calories. I found it useful to categorize each idea to better understand how and where the idea impacted life.

Mind

A sharp mind and the ability to think creatively helps us identify and overcome obstacles. More knowledge, skills, and experience gives us the resources we need to make better informed decisions, think outside the box, and recognize opportunities.

Health

Good health reduces physical burdens. We’re able to do more of the things we want without as many physical limitations. Good health also can clearly improve our quality of life.

Home

We tend to divide most of our time between home and work. Both yield us security but home tends to be far more important to our sense of security especially as we increase our equity.

Work

Most people spend a lot of time at work or in activities to earn money to support themselves. Work can also be a rewarding activity that helps build self esteem, skills, and rewards beyond money.

Money

We live in a capitalist world powered by money. Commerce empowers and restricts us depending on how we choose to coexist with it. Money can be a powerful ally or an enemy depending on how we choose to think. It can trap us and provide freedom.

Community

Positive impacts to the people and environment around us always comes back to us and lessens external barriers. This category includes the people, places, and physical things around you including ecological impacts.

Time

Time is our most precious and limited commodity. The only way to create more time is to allocate more or less to the activities we choose. Ultimately it’s how we choose to spend our time that traps us or gives us the freedom we seek.

You might notice that these common themes contain sub-themes, like community can include things like, people, politics, environment, and business. I chose to keep the categories few and high level to help focus on the bigger issues that limit freedom. In other words simple concepts are easier to understand, digest, and use. The short version, although not as descriptive, is usually the better choice.